The Unsent Letter Project

Gosh.  Back in April, I decided I wanted to post unsent letters I had written.  In typical fashion, I've failed miserably at that goal.  In total, I've posted exactly one letter.  At this rate, I'll be lucky if I get one up a year.  This entry isn't unsent letters, but postcards that were sent, received, and through fate, are now back in my possession.

     Today, I'm thinking of my grandma, or Golden Grams as I called her.  She would have been 89 today, and losing her is one of the hardest things I've gone through.

    When she died, we began the process of dismantling her life, of sorting through her things.  Tucked in her beloved set of Encyclopedia Britannica were the following postcards, each one next to entry for the country I'd sent the postcard from.  It touched me to see how she'd saved the postcards I'd sent her from my travels.

     The first postcard is from my first trip abroad-- a trip I took with my friend, Mark, and his family.  The following year I went back to Paris to study abroad for a semester, and I mailed her a postcard from the Loire valley, which my classmates and I had toured.  The third postcard was mailed from Athens, Greece.  I had traveled there alone to model, and it was my first time traveling on my own.  I stayed there for two months, and worked with a local modeling agency there (garnering my first two national magazine covers during that trip).  The last postcard was mailed from Cologne, Germany.  It's special to me, because my grandma sat next me on the train while I wrote it.  We'd traveled to Germany to visit my brother, who was studying there, and so that Grandma could see the homeland of her father.  It was a very special trip, and I was thrilled to have the woman I loved so much with me.

    Grandma, I miss you.  I think of you all the time, and I'm thankful for whatever vestiges I carry of you.  You were an amazing woman, and I'm glad that you're reunited with Grandaddy, sitting at the Lord's feet in Paradise.

1/18/2000

Dear Golden Grams,

    Here's your postcard-- as promised.  I thought this one was kind of pretty.  This shows the Notre Dame Cathedral which is situated on an island, surrounded by the Seine River.  We climbed the bell tower-- it was very cool!  The view was amazing and there were cool gargoyals.  We also went to the Catacombs-- yards and yards of bones & skulls and things underground.  There's bunches of other things we've done as well but I'll tell you about them later.  Right now we're in Brugge, Belgium which is quite a captivating wonderful little town.  There's a moat surrounding the city.  Also canals-- this is known as the Venice of the North.  I've been to what feels like zillions of churches on this trip-- all magnificent.  The hotel we're in here is an old monastery.  Very quaint.  I love you and hope all is well!

♥ elise

January 2001
Hey Grandma.
   How are you?  We visited this chateau today-- what do you think?  We spent the night in one- it was amazing. Toured 5 in all.  It's cold here but we leave for Barcelona, Spain in two days-- should be warmer there.  I'm having a great time-- meeting lots of friends-- the French are nice.  We stay busy-- constantly doing things.  Thanks for the $$ you sent me for X'mas-- I'm doing pretty good on spending but every bit helps.
♥ you! elise

July 18, 2003

Dear Grandma~

    Hello:)  Greetings from Athens:)  Thought I'd send you a pic of the Parthenon-- it looks much better in the pic as it is currently under construction.

   My time here is almost up-- 10 days to go.  I'm sad to leave as I've grown rather fond of this city.  But I'm happy to be getting home to yummy home-cooked food and my sis's birthday and all.  I'll be home for all of August so that should be very nice.

   I've worked a little bit here so it was definitely worthwhile for me to come here.

   Thank you so much for the money!  I really appreciate it!  I ♥ you and miss you.

xoxo elise

Oct. 12, 06
Hi grandma!
   We are riding back from the Grand Cathedral in Cologne.  I thought this was a nice postcard to remind you of our trip!  I wanted to thank you for being my roomie-- it was a grand trip!
   I had a wonderful trip and am so thankful you came (believe me, when I thought you might decide not to come because of that passport, I seriously considered backing out myself.)  I am so glad that you were able to see the motherland-- and that I could see it with you!  I will treasure the memories of our time together here forever.
I love you!
xoxo-- elise

The Unsent Letter Project

"Sir, When we thinke of a friend, we do not count that thought a lost thought, though that friend never knew of it.  If we write to a friend, we must not call it a lost Letter, though it never finde him to whom it was addressed: for we owe ourselves that office, to be mindefull of our friends."

~Poet and Preacher John Donne in a letter to a friend (written sometime between 1603 and 1616)

My favorite blogger is girl by the name of Meg Fee.  She writes beautifully and with disarming truth.  It's that truth that I admire so and it's the lack of it in my own blog posts that I dislike.  It's not that I'm incapable of writing the truth-- read my diary sometime-- but I'm loathe to write it here.  In the early days, before friends and my mother knew about this blog, I found writing truthfully to be much easier (and safer).  Nowadays, I stick to posting pretty pictures, mindless fluff, and the odd quote or bit of poetry that hints at what lies beneath.


In my collection are a bunch of letters that I have started to friends but never finished (or finished and never sent).  They're fun for me to look at because they capture for me how I was feeling at that time.  And they're honest.  Sometimes shockingly so.  It scares me a bit to post them here, but in an attempt to be more honest, that's what I intend to do.  This feels like a character-growing activity for me because it lets people in to see some of my sensitive spots (and the ugly blights upon my soul as well), but it feels safe-ish, too, because they paint pictures of a former elise, not the current elise.


With that, I humbly submit the Unsent Letter Project.  My first entry is rather innocuous; the heady ones will come later.  I always was the type to dip my toe in before jumping in completely.  This letter is to a girl named Golnar who I had forgotten ever existed until I found this letter.  It would have been written circa 1993 (I was a seventh grader), and was to a friend I had left behind after my family moved to Delaware.

The letter (transcribed below):

Dear Golnar,
    So how is science?  Real fun I bet, right?  Well here it is so boring.  Everyone seem to be so stupid (I don't mean to be mean.  I'm serious though)  It's just that well they don't really think.  I'm almost positive I'll either get all A's or all A's and 1 B.  You'd whiz by here.  So would Janet.  So how is it being a lab partner with Janet?  You get to do a lot more things when you do a lab without me (miss fair everyone gets the exact amount of turns) there.  Also I'm no longer blameable (is that a word) for breaking stuff.  Our science class here is... different... The other day we got to disect a earthworm.  How fun!  I just love earthworms don't you?  Well actully I got to disect a gummiworm (yumm) instead.  Some other people chose to too.  Well I gotta go take a shower now (We have to be at the bus stop at 6:55 [that's right 6:55 in the morning]) Please, please, please, please, PLEASE write back.
                                                                       your friend,
                                                                                         Elise