Doubting Thomas

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who know me
Will I discover a soul saving love or
Just the dirt above and below me?

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
I do not feel safe
O me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death I bet he's holding his breath
Cause I show the blind and tell the deaf
About his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
O me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared that I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
To prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
Though I know nothing's safe
O me of little faith
O me of little faith

Hummingbird

Suppose I say summer,
write the word 'hummingbird,'
put it in an envelope,
take it down the hill
to the box. When you open
my letter you will recall
those days and how much,
just how much, I love you.

~Raymond Carver, Hummingbird