No More Hopeless than the Most Moral and Respectable Person in the World

“To make it quite practical I have a very simple test. After I have explained the way of Christ to somebody I say “Now, are you ready to say that you are a Christian?” And they hesitate. And then I say, “What’s the matter? Why are you hesitating?” And so often people say, “I don’t feel like I’m good enough yet. I don’t think I’m ready to say I’m a Christian now.” 

And at once I know that I have been wasting my breath. They are still thinking in terms of themselves. They have to do it. It sounds very modest to say, “Well, I don’t think I’m good enough,” but it’s a very denial of the faith. The very essence of the Christian faith is to say that He is good enough and I am in Him. As long as you go on thinking about yourself like that and saying, “I’m not good enough; Oh, I’m not good enough,” you are denying God – you are denying the gospel – you are denying the very essence of the faith and you will never be happy. You think you’re better at times and then again you will find you are not as good at other times than you thought you were. You will be up and down forever. 

How can I put it plainly? It doesn’t matter if you have almost entered into the depths of hell. It does not matter if you are guilty of murder as well as every other vile sin. It does not matter from the standpoint of being justified before God at all. You are no more hopeless than the most moral and respectable person in the world.”

~Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure (Emphasis mine)

Look to Christ

It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. 

He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." 

All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." 

Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee- it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument-it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. 

We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.

"My hope is built on nothing less 
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness: 
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, 
But wholly lean on Jesus' name." 

~Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hebrews 12:2

Christmas Bells

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play, 
    And wild and sweet 
    The words repeat 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! 

And thought how, as the day had come, 
The belfries of all Christendom 
    Had rolled along 
    The unbroken song 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! 

Till ringing, singing on its way, 
The world revolved from night to day, 
    A voice, a chime, 
    A chant sublime 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! 

Then from each black, accursed mouth 
The cannon thundered in the South, 
    And with the sound 
    The carols drowned 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! 

It was as if an earthquake rent 
The hearth-stones of a continent, 
    And made forlorn 
    The households born 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! 

And in despair I bowed my head; 
“There is no peace on earth," I said; 
    “For hate is strong, 
    And mocks the song 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” 

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: 
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; 
    The Wrong shall fail, 
    The Right prevail, 
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1807-1882

   I've long been familiar with the Christmas carol which uses lines from this poem, but I've only just become acquainted with the poem itself. Written by Longfellow at the height of the Civil War, it hits a bittersweet note, and threatens to end in despondency. After bemoaning the cannon fire rending the country apart, in the penultimate stanza he despairs, "There is no peace on earth... For hate is strong, and mocks the song of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

   That winter as Longfellow sat down to write this poem he had much more than the war to despair of. In 1835, after only four years of marriage, his wife had a miscarriage and died. He remarried in 1843, but lost his second wife after a flame from a candle set her dress on fire. Longfellow attempted to put the fire out, suffering burns to his face in the process, but to no avail. (Eighteen years later, he wrote a poignant sonnet where he called his wife's death the cross that he would always bear.)   His eldest daughter had died several years earlier, and only two years after his wife's death, Longfellow's eldest son ran off without his father's permission to join the Union army. In 1863, this son was hit by a bullet which nearly left him paralyzed. As young Charles recovered in his father's house, Longfellow penned "Christmas Bells".

   That first Christmas after his wife died, Longfellow wrote in his diary, "How inexpressively sad are all holidays." The following Christmas he wrote, "'A merry Christmas' say the children, but that is no more for me." And, then, two years later, in Christmas 1863, he reached deep within to draw consolation and hope from a source outside himself.  After announcing that there is no peace on earth, the loudly pealing bells remind him "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep; The Wrong shall fail, the Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men."

   Longfellow's reminder to remember that God is good is something we all must remind ourselves of, even as the world around us looks bleak and hopeless. As we celebrate the birth of Christ this season, I pray that we take comfort from the hope that God doth not sleep and that right shall prevail.

The Mystery as a Mystery

"The ancient church mediated on the question of Christ for several centuries. It imprisoned reason in obedience to Jesus Christ, and in harsh, conflicting sentences gave living witness to the mystery of the person of Jesus Christ. It did not give way to the modern pretense that this mystery could only be felt or experienced, for it knew the corruption and self-deception of all human feeling and experience. Nor, of course, did it think that the mystery could be thought out logically, but by being unafraid to express the ultimate conceptual paradoxes, it bore witness to, and glorified, the mystery as a mystery against all reason. The Christology of the ancient church really arose at the cradle of Bethlehem, and the brightness of Christmas lies on its weather-beaten face. Even today, it wins the hearts of all who come to know it. So at Christmas time we should again go to school with the ancient church and seek to understand in worship what it thought and taught, to glorify and to defend belief in Christ. The hard concepts of that time are like stones from which one strikes fire."

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer, excerpt from Letter to the Finkenwalde Brothers Christmas 1939

In Sickness and In Health

     A friend posted this on Facebook this morning and it blew me away.  If you don't feel like watching it (although you should-- it's powerful), the gist is that Ian and Larissa met in college, fell in love, and then he was in a car crash that devastated his brain and left him disabled.  Larissa chose to marry him anyway, and the love she shows for him, and for Jesus is haunting.

   For better or for worse.  In sickness and in health.  For richer or for poorer.

   One of the desires of my heart is to be married.  And yet.  As a Christian, marriage must mean something more than finding a companion to pass your days with.  It paints a picture of Christ's (sacrificial) love for his church.  It's a way that God uses to sanctify his people, to conform us more to Christ, to make us holier.

   I recently listened to a speaker talk about singleness.  In it she said something that shocked me.  She said she'd prayed that if it would glorify God the most to remain single then so be it.  She was giving him her singleness.  I've prayed to God that if it glorifies him the most for me to die tomorrow then, well, take my life, and I've prayed that if it brings Him glory to give me cancer or some debilitating disease then he should do as he will.  But this-- this giving up my hopes of being married and being a mother is totally radical to me.

   I'm encouraged by Ian and Larissa's story.  This isn't the marriage that either of them pictured, and yet they're faithful because of their dependence on Christ and what he has done for them.  I pray that God will continue to strengthen and bless their marriage and that the light of Christ will shine through their marriage so that all may see that he is Lord.

   And I pray that God uses my life to bring Him glory as well-- in singleness, in marriage, in my relationships, and in my lifelong walk towards that celestial city.

Dogma is the Drama

"The Christian faith is the most exciting drama that ever staggered the imagination of man—and the dogma is the drama. It is the dogma that is the drama—not beautiful phrases, nor comforting sentiments, nor vague aspirations to loving-kindness and uplift, nor the promise of something nice after death—but the terrifying assertion that the same God who made the world, lived in the world and passed through the grave and gate of death. Show that to a heathen, and they may not believe it; but at least they may realize that here is something that a man might be glad to believe.”

~Dorothy Sayers, Creed or Chaos?

Redeeming Love Has Been My Theme and Shall Be Till I Die.

There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.

E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.

When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy power to save,
I’ll sing Thy power to save,I’ll sing Thy power to save,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy power to save,

Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared, unworthy though I be,
For me a blood bought free reward, a golden harp for me!
’Tis strung and tuned for endless years, and formed by power divine,
To sound in God the Father’s ears no other name but Thine.

~Praise for the Fountain Opened, William Cowper

Easter Sunrise Service: He is risen!

   There was still a little bit of bite in the air as we hunkered down in our folding chairs this morning, towels draped over our knees to keep warm.  How does one dress in the desert?  It's cold only while the the sun hangs his head behind horizon, but once he rises, it's quite H-O-T.  This morning the faithful, bleary-eyed but joyful, assembled on a beach in Jumeirah to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the son of God. It was glorious-- we gathered in the darkness-- a nod to the darkness that descended upon the earth at the hour of Jesus's death (Matthew 27:45)-- but then Hope returned, and the sun rose, and we were reminded of the moment that Jesus rose from dead, victorious over death.  What a wonderful way to ring in Easter.

  I've included above the lyrics of one of my favorite hymns.  Those opening lines are epic.  And this: Redeeming love has been my theme and shall be until I die.  William Cowper, one of the most popular poets of his day, wrote this hymn shortly after his first major bout of depression.  He's a man that interests me because he clearly clung to the cross, and yet he struggled throughout his whole life with depression, attempting suicide at least three times.

  I hope on this Easter day that you turned to God and thanked Him for sending His son to die for you that you might live.  Read the Gospels and fall in love with Jesus.

Good Friday Service: It is finished!

He is Praying for Me

If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies.  Yet distance makes no difference.  He is praying for me.

~Robert Murray M'Cheyne

One of my favorite quotes.  I wish I could remember this.  He is praying for me.  Thank God He is praying for me.  If only I could remember this simple fact and seal it in my heart.

Waiting for Ulysses

I mentioned this a week or so back-- I've been working on a new blog. I enjoy doing this blog, but over the year and 9 months I've been writing this blog(wow! I stuck with it that long? I've never committed to anything for that long a time!), I've had a hard time pinning down what exactly it was that I wanted to write about. I think in the beginning I wrote more from heart, just about whatever thing that struck my fancy. At some point, the whole blog became more polished, and probably lost some of the charm. At another point, I made the blog a collect-all for anything I found interesting, and then later it reincarnated as a fashion blog, and lately, it seems to be a repository for everything work related.

Soooo, I have finally found a topic that I am PASSIONATE about and I've decided it should have it's own blog. That blog will focus on its own thing, and this one will continue to be as sporadic as ever.

What's the new blog about? Well, it's mostly about my struggle to love God more. To that end, I'll post things that inspire me, or things that have me thinking. I'd like to think that one day it will be a resource that I can reference to find information on a myriad of topics. I'd love it if you would check it out, and possibly add me to your reader.

It is called Waiting for Ulysses and can be accessed at http://www.waitingforulysses.blogspot.com.  And don't worry, I'll keep posting here as well.

XOXO,