Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

Sunday, July 10, 2016

And When I Have Seen Him, I Shall Never Die

I shall rise from the dead... I shall see the Son of God, the Sun of Glory, and shine myself as that sun shines. I shall be united to the Ancient of Days, to God Himself, who had no morning, never began... No man ever saw God and lived. And yet, I shall not live till I see God; and when I have seen him, I shall never die.

~John Donne, from Sermon CXVIII, Preached at St. Paul's Cathedral on Midsummer Day, 1622

Monday, August 31, 2015

Sabbath's Day Rest

"And now, weak, short of breath, my once-firm muscles melted away by cancer, I find my thoughts, increasingly, not on the supernatural or spiritual, but on what is meant by living a good and worthwhile life-- achieving a sense of peace within oneself. I find my thoughts drifting to the Sabbath, the day of rest, the seventh day of the week, and perhaps the seventh day of one's life as well, when one can feel that one's work is done, and one may, in good conscience, rest."

~Oliver Sacks, Sabbath, August 14, 2015

The quotes this week and last both deal with death. I'm not sure why, exactly, except that I read them and they resonated with me, both for their literary qualities as well as for the sentiment.

Oliver Sacks, who made a name for himself studying the quirkier side of the brain and writing about it, died yesterday at the age of 82. I haven't read any of his books, but I found his articles for the New York Times to be thoughtful and insightful, and an interview with NPR earlier this year revealed a man who had seemingly spent his life exploring not only how the brain works, but how our thoughts and feelings tie us deeply to our own humanity. His reflections on life will be missed.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Slow Quiet Attrition of Time

"When he had thought of death before, he had thought of it either as a literary event or as the slow, quiet attrition of time against imperfect flesh. He had not thought of it as the explosion of violence upon a battlefield, as the gush of blood from the ruptured throat. He wondered at the difference between the two kinds of dying, and what the difference meant; and he found growing in him some of the bitterness he had glimpsed once in the living heart of his friend David Masters."

~Stoner by John Williams, pg. 41. Originally published in 1965.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

From the Great Deep to the Great Deep He Goes

T   hen loudly cried the bold Sir Bedivere:
"Ah! my Lord Arthur, whither shall I go?
Where shall I hide my forehead and my eyes?
For now I see the true old times are dead,
When every morning brought a noble chance,
And every chance brought out a noble knight.
Such times have been not since the light that led
The holy Elders with the gift of myrrh.
But now the whole Round Table is dissolved
Which was an image of the mighty world,
And I, the last, go forth companionless,
And the days darken round me, and the years,
Among new men, strange faces, other minds."

       And slowly answer'd Arthur from the barge:
"The old order changeth, yielding place to new,
And God fulfils himself in many ways,
Lest one good custom should corrupt the world.
Comfort thyself: what comfort is in me?
I have lived my life, and that which I have done
May He within himself make pure! but thou,
If thou shouldst never see my face again,
Pray for my soul. More things are wrought by prayer
Than this world dreams of. Wherefore, let thy voice
Rise like a fountain for me night and day.
For what are men better than sheep or goats
That nourish a blind life within the brain,
If, knowing God, they lift not hands of prayer
Both for themselves and those who call them friend?
For so the whole round earth is every way
Bound by gold chains about the feet of God.
But now farewell. I am going a long way
With these thou seëst—if indeed I go
(For all my mind is clouded with a doubt)—
To the island-valley of Avilion;
Where falls not hail, or rain, or any snow,
Nor ever wind blows loudly; but it lies
Deep-meadow'd, happy, fair with orchard lawns
And bowery hollows crown'd with summer sea,
Where I will heal me of my grievous wound."

       So said he, and the barge with oar and sail
Moved from the brink, like some full-breasted swan
That, fluting a wild carol ere her death,
Ruffles her pure cold plume, and takes the flood
With swarthy webs. Long stood Sir Bedivere
Revolving many memories, till the hull
Look'd one black dot against the verge of dawn,
And on the mere the wailing died away.

       But when that moan had past for evermore,
The stillness of the dead world's winter dawn
Amazed him, and he groan'd, The King is gone.''
And therewithal came on him the weird rhyme,
"From the great deep to the great deep he goes."

       Whereat he slowly turn'd and slowly clomb
The last hard footstep of that iron crag;
Thence mark'd the black hull moving yet, and cried,
"He passes to be King among the dead,
And after healing of his grievous wound
He comes again; but—if he come no more—
O me, be yon dark Queens in yon black boat,
Who shriek'd and wail'd, the three whereat we gazed
On that high day, when, clothed with living light,
They stood before his throne in silence, friends
Of Arthur, who should help him at his need?"

       Then from the dawn it seem'd there came, but faint
As from beyond the limit of the world,
Like the last echo born of a great cry,
Sounds, as if some fair city were one voice
Around a king returning from his wars.

       Thereat once more he moved about, and clomb
Ev'n to the highest he could climb, and saw,
Straining his eyes beneath an arch of hand,
Or thought he saw, the speck that bare the King,
Down that long water opening on the deep
Somewhere far off, pass on and on, and go
From less to less and vanish into light.
And the new sun rose bringing the new year.

~ Idylls of the King: The Passing of Arthur, Alfred, Lord Tennyson

   
    Were I to stumble on this blog post, I would most likely do little more than pass a cursory glance at the above text.  At first glance, it seems to be a mass of words, written in an old-fashioned style, about a mythical person, seemingly without any relevance to my own life.  We're busy.  We're bombarded by text.  Articles bookmarked on the internet to revisited at a future date when we have a few moments to truly go in deep (but do we ever return?).  An email from a friend that we put a star next to their name so that we remember to respond when life slows down for a minute (but how many days and weeks go by before that happens?).

   Stop now and read the poetry above, slowly, line by line.  It's beautiful, no?  Who cannot identify with Sir Bedivere, who has seemingly lost his last friend in the world that that enemy that waits in the wings to triumph over us all, Death?  He cries "Whither shall I go?" to his dying friend.  What will I be without you?  Arthur replies, "The old order changeth, yielding place to new."  The old order changes, but it will be replaced by the new.  I am going, but there will be more in this life to comfort you.  Arthur asks his friend to pray for his soul, "More things are wrought with prayer than this world dreams of."  And then, Arthur goes "from less to less and vanish(es) into light."  But it doesn't end there.  The last line gives us hope: "And the new sun rose bringing the new year." 

   Tonight I am grieving.  I am posting this in memorial of a friend who passed away on September 4th, 2013.  His service was today, and I was unable to attend, being halfway around the world.  I was with him the hour he passed from this world unto the next, and I wish I could have been there today to remember him and say goodbye.  As my favorite poet writes, "Every man is a piece of the continent,/ A part of the main./ If a clod be washed away by the sea,/ Europe is the less."  I am, in short, diminished by this man's death.

   Dear Peter, these are words that should be said in life, not death.  You were precious, and wonderful, and loved.  I hate my fallible human memory, as even now, my memories of you begin to grow faint.  You were always a joyous sight to behold; even in death you clung to life with vivacity and life and wit.  The last time I saw you in the hospital, I wanted to kiss you on your worn cheek, as we had always done, but my nerve failed me, and for that I will be forever regretful.  Stupid words, but thank you for your friendship.  Thank you for always being ready with a compliment.  Thank you for the way you endeared yourself to your students.  Thank you for telling me I was beautiful and sharing the moments of your life with me.  Thank you for your songs.  Thank you for dancing with me and seeing my worth.  You are truly a precious being, created in the image of the Living God.  I love you now and will always love you.  Cursed be this memory that will erase, but my heart will always remember.

You will always be remembered.  Go gentle into the night, dear Welshman.  May the good Lord protect you and keep you.  Amen.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

One Year Later

It was one year ago today that I received news that would be forever imprinted upon my heart: my dear Grandma had passed away.  She really was the most incredible woman I've ever known-- a God-fearing woman who was devoted to her family.  She was brave-- she enlisted in the war (WWII) after her boyfriend died while fighting.  She decided she wanted to fight in his place, and at the age of twenty, she left her home in Brooklyn behind and travelled to Georgia for training.  She was stationed in Miami, where she met my grandfather, and later settled in South Carolina, where she lived until she died.

My sister scanned these pictures (among others) last year.  I've included a smattering-- they focus on Grandma, but some also feature my grandfather, my great grandmothers, my great aunt, my mother, and my uncle.  I think these pictures capture something of Grandma's spirit-- that of woman who was nurturing and brought joy to those around her.  She was a dear friend, and always up for just about anything.  I miss you, Grandma!

XOXO,



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Lillian Vera Herbrandt Howard Beach, Long Island, NY July 28, 1931




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May 3, 1942


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George Wyman and Lillian V. Herbrandt Stiefel October 21, 1944 Wedding Day



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6 years 4 months old. March 1, 1930 at school Miss Geharst Grade 1B



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Palisades Park, NY Aug 29, 1941


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Polly's Rock and Round Top Mountain in background Catskill Mountains, NY Aug 1943



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Anna Marie Nickens Herbrandt and Lillian Vera Herbrandt (Stiefel) Jones Beach, July 5, 1942



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George F., George W., Lillian H., and Melanie C. Stiefel Dec 25, 1956




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Lillian V. Herbrandt and Anna Marie Nickens Herbrandt Jones Beach June 5, 1942



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Lillian Vera Herbrandt and Anna Marie Herbrandt Lillian wearing favorite rust dress she made Palisades Park NJ Aug 29, 1941



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Anna Marie Herbrandt, Ben Tumulty, Lillian Herbrandt 1941 Rye Beach




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Statue of Ponce de Leon St Augustine, Fla. Lillie Mae Stiefel, Lillian H. Stiefel, Claude Stiefel, and Melanie Claire Stiefel



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George Bach & Lillian Herbrandt Boundbrook, NJ


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Bus ride from Davis & Geck Margie Egan and Lillian V. Herbrandt at Lake Ronkonkoma Aug 9, 1941




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Beta Sigma Beta Club   Bottom Row L to R:  Nancy, Anna, Adele Curnan, Dorothy Shuman, Doris Lightfine, Rose Macaluso, Ann Turano, Lill, Rose   Top row L to R:  Roy, Walter Wilber, Peter Cuso, Peter Andrews, Alf Englund, John Osterita, Vincent DeMilo, Angelo Geraci   Sun 6-1-40  Picnic at Valley Stream  on the step of Valley Stream High School



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Lillian Herbrandt Stiefel and George F. Stiefel  Dec 30, 1945



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Melanie Claire (with Sparky), Lillian H., and George F. Stiefel (with Bootsie) posing for Graniteville Herald



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Melanie Claire & Lillian H. Stiefel & Brownie


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Lillian Herbrandt Stiefel, Juliette Hughes, Louise Barton, Margaret Timmerman, and Mildred Leopard, and Adelene Hite  1944   Women in Graniteville Company payroll and real estate departments



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Lillian Herbrandt Stiefel and Melanie Claire Stiefel    St Augustine, Fla   June 1956


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Marilyn Converse & Lillian Vera Herbrandt   March 1944


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Hazel Pitts Barr, Melanie Claire Stiefel, Anna Nickens Herbrandt, George Wyman Stiefel, Lillian Herbrandt Stiefel, and George Franklin Stiefel   New Haven, Conn.


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George F., Lillian H., and Melanie Claire Stiefel (7 weeks old), October 26, 1952


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Lillian H. Stiefel, George F. Stiefel, and Jacko the Monkey  Oct 1952


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Melanie Claire (7 weeks old), Lillian H., George Franklin, and George Wyman Stiefel   Oct 26, 1952

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Jessie Mae and Claudia, and Lillian H. Stiefel  Aug 1949


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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Birds In My Tree

In My Tree (wood-block print), originally uploaded by S.britt

“Dear friend, have you found that trouble cuts the cords that tie you to earth? When the Lord takes a child, there is one less cord to fasten you to this world and another band to draw you toward heaven. When money vanishes and business goes wrong, we frequent the prayer meeting, the prayer closet and the Bible. Trials drive us from earth. If all went well, we would begin to say, “Soul, relax”. But when things go amiss, we want to be gone. When the tree shakes, the bird flies away. Happy is the trouble that loosens our grip of earth.”

- From Beside Still Waters by Charles Spurgeon

I read this quote earlier today and it resonated with my soul. I'm still missing my grandma, and the way I have been feeling is beautifully summed up by Spurgeon in this quote. There is indeed one less cord fastening me to this world. And yes, "happy is the trouble that loosens our grip of earth." May He hasten His return...

Friday, May 15, 2009

The End

Vogue Grandma

The above photo was taken of my grandma, Lillian Herbrandt Stiefel, in December 1966 (the 25th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor) at the airport in Hawaii. I love this photo. We found it in a photo album when we were cleaning out Grandma's house. I'd never seen it before. She looks so incredibly stylish and beautiful-- that's how she always struck me. I admired her and respected her so much.

Her death came as a shock to us. We had gone down to South Carolina in March to visit grandma and when we saw her, she was the same goofy grandma she always was. I dragged her all over Batesburg, Lexington, and Columbia taking her to thrift stores with me. Ironically, we visited the undertaker and what would become her grave (I'm a sucker for cemeteries, and he just happens to be an old family friend who knows where all our relatives are buried). She stayed up late with me every night (to midnight or so) and would drink beers with us and laugh over the silliest things. She was like a girlfriend to me. A girlfriend who was oh so proud of me (she adored her granddaughters: me and my twin sis, Erin), and loved that I was following my dream, but worried about me every time I headed to New York, or abroad. She was the best book club member you could ever want-- she let me pick all the books! I'd read them, then send them along to her, and a week or two later, we'd discuss.

I was in New York when I got the call that she had passed. We'd been trying to get a hold of her the week before, but hadn't had any luck. No one thought anything of it, since Grandma lived alone, and she was a bit hard of hearing so she wouldn't hear the phone ringing, or a lot of time, she would be out gallavanting around town. We don't know when she died-- her neighbor found her on May 1st, sitting on the guest room bed with the tv on-- she had just gone to sleep. She had been dead for a few days when he found her.

We spent last week cleaning out her house. Because of the odor associated with her decaying body, everything in the house that would hold a scent had to be removed. We spent five long days sorting through and divvying up her belongings. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. It makes one wonder what is a life if it can be dismantled so quickly?

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One of the neat things about an overall shitty process was seeing the things that Grandma had cherished. She loved her children, her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren. I was struck by all of the old letters and cards that I had sent her that she still had. She loved photos and had photo albums coming out of her ears (so to speak). She had the last set of photos that my grandfather had been in (he passed away in 1997). She had videos of me from when I had first started modeling-- back in the days when I appeared on MTV and my QVC appearances.

It's been a hard couple of weeks for me. That ever-looming depression seems to be geared up for a return (why, oh, why did I stop taking my anti-depressants at Christmas?). I'm missing the woman that I loved so incredibly much. I'm cursing my own faith that is so weak that I can't be happy that she's gone and in heaven with her Lord.

In short, I am diminished.

Thanks to my friend Lief for his comforting words via the poetry of my favorite metaphysical poet, John Donne:

...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Thank you everyone for your comforting words and prayers. I am so thankful for my friends and those people that support me. You are invaluable.

For those of you who still have grandparents, and moms and dads, take my advice and give them a call. Tell them that you love them. You won't regret that you did.

This is part of my grieving process. I will be back to my old self shortly, I promise. I know all too well that life goes on. I have other news, and shop updates, and new books that I am reading. I'll be back soon.

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One of my favorite pictures of Grandma. I'm on the left, and Erin is on the right. Just look at the smiles on our faces to see how much we loved her.

Grandma, I am the luckiest... because I had you in my life.


XOXO,



Thursday, May 7, 2009

Saying Goodbye

I haven't been blogging this week because I found out on Friday, May 1st, that my beloved Grandma died. She was very special to me and will be sorely missed. We've been in South Carolina since Saturday-- the memorial service was on this past Monday and the rest of the week we've spent packing up her house.

I should be back next week, when I'll tell you a little bit about my Grandma.

I just did a blog post about her at the end of April-- she was the coolest!

Have a great rest of the week!

XOXO,