Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts

Friday, April 3, 2026

Spiritual Abuse as Soul-Murder

"For most people of faith, their faith is a source of solace. It gives them comfort and strength for all manner of life's travails. It's a powerful resource for healing. But for me, faith is neurologically networked with a nightmare. Sexual trauma and faith are inextricably seared together in my brain.

This is what it means to be subjected to the force of faith unleashed by a clergy predator. It is not only physically, psychologically, and emotionally devastating, but it is also spiritually annihilating. It is soul-murder. It is why many experts talk about the unique nature of clergy abuse trauma and the devastation of its impact.

When faith has been used as a weapon, it becomes almost impossible to use it as a resource for healing."

~ Christa Brown, This Little Light: Beyond a Baptist Preacher Predator and His Gang

I just finished reading Christa Brown's memoir of her experience of sexual abuse and cover-up in the Baptist church. She begins by recounting how she, as a sixteen-year-old, was groomed by her youth pastor, who sexually violated her while telling her it was "God's will." When she goes to another pastor for help, she's told never to speak of it again, and as word gets out, Brown is forced to apologize to the youth pastor's wife for "seducing" her husband.

It's a heartbreaking story, but where it gets worse is when Brown tries to actually do something about it—she wants to make sure other children do not have the same thing happen to them. She realizes that in the Baptist church, there was no system of accountability to prevent sexual abusers from simply changing churches and starting again. (Her own abuser remained a pastor in a large Baptist church even after her claims of abuse were credibly substantiated.) What becomes apparent is that NO ONE is willing to do anything about it. Not the men who know the truth. Not the president of the SBC. Not the Baptist pastors who speak platitudes about how much they care about truth and transparency and about God.

The moral of the story, I think, is an all-too-common theme of churches protecting the institution. Or as Dr. Diane Langberg writes, "Why do I say many church leaders have failed God on the issue of abuse? Because we protected our own institutions and status more than His name or His people. In doing so, we taught people that the institution is what God loves, not the sheep. Resharing:"

Brown's book was published in 2009, and it's basically a recounting of how 1)vulnerable people in the church are not protected, 2)victims of abuse are gaslit and further abused, and 3)how the perpetrators (specifically pastors in her book) get away with it with pretty much no consequences. It's now 2026. One hopes that things have changed—she wrote a follow-up in 2024, Baptistland, which I haven't read—but based on some recent podcasts she's been on, it seems she's still out there fighting the good fight).

I'm thankful for Christa and the light that she continues to shine. Our churches need to become better informed on the dynamics of clergy abuse. And we need to speak up for abuse victims—for the glory of Christ's name and for the sake of his sheep.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Bibliotherapy? Yes, Please.

Somewhere along the way, and I'm not entirely sure how it happened, I took a break from reading. Well, I never fully walked away from that most treasured pastime, but my reading went in the direction of reading non-fiction (which is apparently the trend these days). Instead of reading my beloved classics, I read theology and biographies and "histories of...". Movie adaptations of books, however, have a way of sending me running to the bookstore to experience again the delight of a story I've just seen told on the silver screen. Thank God for movie adaptations! Right now I'm reading Far From the Madding Crowd from Thomas Hardy and enjoying not only the story, but also Hardy's insight into human nature, and his magnificent crafting of sentences and paragraphs.

I read on Newyorker.com this morning an article entitled Can Reading Make You Happier? In it, the author talks about receiving bibliotherapy, a kind of therapy where books are recommended based on what ails ya. This therapy sounds wonderful, and in a time when seemingly so few people are reading, it also sounds hard to come by. I love it when a friend recommends a good book to me, even more so when the books is apropos to something that I'm experiencing in my life at that time. (Any suggestions out there?)

Two of the bibliotherapists in the article have written a book, The Novel Cure: An A-Z of Literary Remedies: An A-Z of Literary Remedies. What's fun, is that in the book deal, as the book has been published in other countries and languages, up to 25% of the book is allowed to be adapted for local audiences (and to include local writers). So:

The new, adapted ailments are culturally revealing. In the Dutch edition, one of the adapted ailments is “having too high an opinion of your own child”; in the Indian edition, “public urination” and “cricket, obsession with” are included; the Italians introduced “impotence,” “fear of motorways,” and “desire to embalm”; and the German added “hating the world” and “hating parties.”
These ailments amuse me. Do the Dutch have too high an opinion of their children? Do Italian men struggle with impotence? Can a novel help? Anyway, it's all very interesting.

My bibliotherapy is working. Far From the Madding Crowd is a delightful and a welcome reprieve from the world. Both happily and sadly, I am almost finished. Next up, however, is a book that has long been on my reading list: Middlemarch. I daresay that the heft of that novel will ensure that I have its company at least two weeks before I must find something else to read.

I'm off to put myself into a "pleasurable trance-like state, similar to meditation, and... (to bring) the same health benefits of deep relaxation and inner calm."

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Easily torn, not easily mended

"Every secret of the body was rendered up-- bone risen through flesh, sacrilegious glimpses of an intestine or an optic nerve.  From this new and intimate perspective, she learned a simple, obvious thing she had always known, and everyone knew: that a person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn, not easily mended."

~Ian McEwan, Atonement

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

So Many Books, So Little Time

You can't get a cup of tea big enough, or a book long enough to suit me.
~C.S. Lewis

I took a trip to the library tonight (a little monsoon-esque weather didn't thwart me, no siree!).  I haven't finished the last two books I started (I do intend to), but that didn't prevent me from getting a few more.  Is it just me, or are libraries just about the best things this side of heaven?  Books fill me with awe-- do you remember that scene in Beauty in the Beast when Belle goes to the bookseller?
Belle: Good morning.  I've come to return the book I borrowed. 
Man: Finished already?  
Belle: Oh, I couldn't put it down.  Have ya got anything new? 
Man: (chuckle) Not since yesterday! 
Belle: That's alright.  I'll borrow... this one. 
Man: That one?  But you've read it twice! 
Belle: Well, it's my favorite: far-off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise! 
Man: If you like it all that much, it's yours! 
Belle: But sir?!? 
Man: I insist! 
Belle: Well, thank you, thank you very much!
Yep, that's how I feel about books too! (Oh, side note: I went to the movies last night and couldn't help noticing that Beauty and the Beast is coming out again in theaters in 3D on January 13th.  Yay!)


I haven't done this in a while, but here are a few of the books that I picked up tonight (in no particular order):

Photobucket
WHY I PICKED IT UP: I'm definitely NOT pregnant, but this book was on display and caught my eye.  It talks about different factors that influence pregnancies and babies.  Interesting, right?  Also, my bff, Corrie, had her baby not too long ago, and I'm the proud Godmother, so anything about babies interests me at the moment.  (I also have a slew of friends at the moment who have babies or are expecting-- it's just that time in life, I guess.)



Photobucket
WHY I PICKED IT UP: Selected by Caroline Kennedy, it's a collection of poems that cover all aspects of womanhood.  I have a friend who emails out a poem a day with his insightful commentary following.  It's making me appreciate poetry in a whole new way.  While flipping through the book, my eyes fell upon these intro lines to a poem:
oh this man
what a meal he made of me
how he chewed and gobbled and sucked
in the end he spat me all out
I was hooked, and the book came home with me.




Photobucket
WHY I PICKED IT UP: I'm intrigued by the idea of choosing to be happy.  I desire to be a person who is satisfied with my life.  The author spends one year setting goals for herself and making every effort to find happiness in the life she has.  I'm going to follow along on her adventure and see if it holds any secrets for me.




Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
WHY I PICKED 'EM UP: I'm a sewer-- a skill I use primarily in making clothes for myself.  I want to learn how to embroider, or more particularly, to do beadwork embroidery.  I love clothes from the 1920s, and I can't help but notice that beading seems to be a hallmark of that time period.  I'd like to work some beading into my designs if I can manage to get the hang of it.


What about you?  What are you reading these days?



Monday, October 25, 2010

Recommended Reading

I have been considering what I should read next. My reading of late has mostly centered around grammar books (Clean, Well-lighted Sentences and Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog: The Quirky History and Lost Art of Diagramming Sentences), which I highly recommend, however, I have been feeling in the mood for something more... fictional. Or, at the very least, a good history that is so entertaining that it reads like fiction.


Enter my friends. The American tv show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? has entered the phrase "poll the audience" into our collective vernacular, and that is exactly what I did. Here, then, are the suggestions that I received from my literary-minded friends on Facebook:


Photobucket

1. The Secret History by Donna Tartt, recommended by both Christina and Jeffrey
2. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Luiz Safon, recommended by Leslie
3. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, recommended by Krishan
4. A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin, recommended by Christine
5. Doomsday Book by Connie Willis, recommended by Leif
6. Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose, recommended by Michelle
7. River Rising by Athol Dickson, recommended by Mrs. Larsen
8. East of Eden by John Steinbeck, recommended by Mike
9. Cutting for Stone by Anthony Verghese, recommended by Amy
10. Juliette, a Novel by Anne Fortier, recommended by Katie
11. Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov, recommended by Adty
12. The Space Between Us by Thrity Umrigar, recommended by Rachel

Thanks for the suggestions, dear friends!  This should keep me busy for a while.  What about you, friends in the blogsosphere?  Have you read any of these books?  What did you think? Have you read any good books lately?


XOXO,

Friday, July 16, 2010

Winner for Book Giveaway

A few weeks ago, I posted a giveaway for the book I had just finished reading called The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. As you may recall, it's a bit of a mystery novel meets vampire novel. I like to think of it as the thinking (wo)man's version of Twilight.
Photobucket
The winner of the book is Joanna who sweetly wrote: O wow! That sounds incredible! I was reading your blog entry and thinking..."I wonder if this book is available here"! :) I love that you are giving it away and I would love to have it if I win :)

Joanna, can you please email me-- elventryst@gmail.com-- and let me know your address!


XOXO,

Monday, April 27, 2009

It's That Time Again!

Yep, library time. I should mention that I don't necessarily read all the books that I take home (although I read all of those from my last trip to the library). I treat the library as sort of a smorgasbord where I roam the aisles and grab every book that catches my fancy. Everything I bring home I want to read, but I sometimes when I start a book, it just isn't that good, and at other times, the book is recalled to the library before I can read it.

Here's what I picked up:


Why I Picked It Up: Because BFFs Corrie and Laura both recommend it, and dear Sierra seconds (thirds?) their suggestion.




Why I Picked It Up: The book discusses the stresses that face teenage girls today. It sounded interesting to me as a woman, but even more so when I consider my 15 year old niece.




Why I Picked It Up:
It was in the "Classics" section. I'd never heard of it, but I liked the title.




Why I Picked It Up:
I love the Bronte sisters, but somehow never read this one. I found in the classics section and it promises to "eclips(e) even JANE EYRE." Sold!




Why I Picked It Up: I grabbed this one because the title piqued my interest. Being from the south means that manners were always ingrained in me since day one. I'm sure they could still use some polishing, though!




Why I Picked It Up:
I read Gladwell's first book, The Tipping Point, and really enjoyed it. And, hey, who doesn't want to learn more about being successful?





Why I Picked It Up: This book comes highly recommended from dear Emily at Songs I Sing. She even did a blog post about it. It's a children's story, and it looks amazing. A quick internet search reveals that this book is beloved by many.



I also picked up some DVDs, although why, I'm not really sure. I don't do much movie watching these days-- it seems blogging and keeping up my store uses up any time I might spend on a movie. Nevertheless, here's what I grabbed tonight:






XOXO,

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Trip to the library

It's that time again-- time for a trip to the library! Here's what I picked up tonight:

WHY I PICKED IT UP: I was a huge fan of the Harry Potter series. I saw this title at the library, and had to check it out. Looks to be a quick read-- should be interesting!



WHY I PICKED IT UP: I keep hearing about the fabulous Mitford sisters-- first over at Liebemarlene, and then from my friend Sara who reported that Love in a Cold Climate is one of her favorite novels.



WHY I PICKED IT UP: This was recommended by my friend Amy. I've never read anything by Stephen King before, but apparently this one is helpful to aspiring writers.




WHY I PICKED IT UP: This is another author I've never read, as my tastes tend to run to the classics. But, I've been spending a lot of time in the paperback section of Walmart these days (first buying the Twilight series, and now reading the Sookie Stackhouse books), and this one caught my eye. I didn't seek it out at the library, but when I saw it on display there, I snatched it up. I'm definitely going through an easy reading phase.




WHY I PICKED IT UP: The most recent installment in the Sookie Stackhouse series (with another coming out in May), this one promises to be as deliciously addictive as its predecessers. It's a vampire mystery series that I just heard about from my sister who watched the HBO series based on the books.



I just can't wait to start reading! What are you reading these days?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Libraries and nerd-ery

There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.

This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is a chariot
That bears a human soul!

~ Emily Dickinson, Part One: Life XCIX

I am, without a doubt, the biggest nerd I know.  How else to describe someone who gets as much joy out of a library as I do.  When I moved out of Brooklyn in late February, it was with great sadness that I bid my local library (The Brooklyn Public Library's Central Branch) goodbye.  I was not ready to let it go, and on subsequent visits to the city, I've stopped by and checked more books and DVDs out.  I'm thankful for their online renewal service, and for my friend, Corrie, who has graciously volunteered to return my books for me if I mail them to her.

Having my nearest "local" library some three hours drive away was not ideal or practical for a self-avowed book lover such myself.  I was under the impression that I was banned from the New Castle County Public Library system because of a $100 fine that I somehow accrued  almost fifteen years ago.  I finally decided a few weeks ago that I would just pay the fine, but when I went in to talk to them, my fine had mysteriously disappeared, and I emerged from the library the triumphant owner of a bright yellow piece of plastic entitling me to borrow from any of the local libraries.  Yippee!

After my physical therapy session today (working on my knees), I drove to the nearest branch, and somehow managed a half hour later to have accumulated an armful of books on topics ranging from Eleanor of Aquitaine and Lady Jane Grey, to fashions of the 1940's, to sex and chastity.  What joy I had perusing those shelves; what regret in deciding to leave some books behind!  I didn't want to be too overzealous-- after all, I do only have them for three weeks at a time.

Perhaps I shall share some thoughts on my reading in future posts.  In the meanwhile though, I have a lot of reading to do!