Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Trouble With Men


I've said this before, but it bears repeating. I found this quote in an amazing book that I highly recommend-- The Politically Incorrect Guide to English and American Literature by Elizabeth Kantor, Ph.D. In the book, she talks about what we learn by reading great literature, i.e., lovers learn to be better lovers through reading the sensual poetry of John Donne, believers read and are inspired to pray in the words of John Milton or T.S. Eliot, a widower finds comfort in William Shakespeare's words: "Men must endure their going hence..." and finally, women "manage (their) relationships with greater integrity because of (the works of) Jane Austen."

Hence, here is what she writes we can learn from looking at the relationships in Jane Austen's book:

"The same tendency not to take responsibility-- to keep their options open, not to get involved-- is what makes young men so dangerous. The villains in Jane Austen's novels are not rapists, wife-beaters, or even jealous husbands. They're men who don't stick around. It's not men's violent, "controlling" urges that make it necessary for parents to look out for their daughters; it's men's tendencies to avoid (or weasel out of) commitment that do. In each of the novels there's at least one man who pays a woman the kind of attention he knows (if he thinks it through) that he shouldn't pay her unless his intentions are serious-- and they're not. In Jane Austen's views, this behavior seems to be an occupational hazard of being male."

5 comments:

mark said...

Have you learned this personally? Or just from reading Jane Austen? Such generalities! :)

elventryst said...

I like to generalize. And, I can relate to the heroines of the Jane Austen novels. This was a fun post to write because I knew it would get a response-- at least from my male readers. Thanks for checking out my blog;)

Debbie said...

One of my favorite moments in literature is from Cyrano de Bergerac - his final speech to Roxanne is heartbreaking. If you get the chance, read it.

Men these days are shit by comparison. I know not all men are crap...but sometimes it sure feels that way.

elventryst said...

Thanks for the book recommendation-- that's one that I've never thought about reading before but I'm putting it on my list. I'll let you know what I think when I come to that speech.

James. said...

We aren't all like that, but I think most are... it's true. I guess this just goes to show that bitterness, indecision, and a lack of commitment aren't merely contemporary virtues... although cultural pressures have a lot to do with it, I think. Looking out for number one. Which is understandable, albeit regrettable. I think many are often victims of love before they earn the title of "villain." Love is a pretty high risk stake...